Okay Guys, Here We Go Again.......
This one starts about 4 years ago. I have a patient that is very handsome and sweet. I was not in the frame of mind to be attracted to him but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I was. But for one reason alone that hindered my attraction, he had had a dental procedure done when he was twelve that I couldn't accept.[very shallow of me].
He was a bit standoffish during the next couple of years but perhaps that was because of me?
Being a woman..........
Well, during the time inbetween then and now, our office manager told me that when she called his home, another man was on the answering machine, answering for both of them.
He was in last week and we had a great rapport [he is from Cape Breton also]. His father had died the summer past and it had been very hard on him. Then he was telling me how he loved christmas, and he was like Chevy Chase with his outdoor decorations. I saw my opening and said, " how does your partner feel about all that?" He said , "they" had no problem with it.
Since then, I have seen him a number of times in our local "BIG" grocery store, and he has always hugged me with a warm welcome. Tonight I saw him and he immediately gave me the biggest hug I have ever gotten and proceeded to tell me he was thinking of me this week and couldn't remember why, but it was very important. He said he would call me later in the week when he remembered what it was about.
Is he relieved that I could not be attracted to him because I know about his"partner"?
That I pose no threat to him and he can feel free to hug me because I know and he wants to be my friend?
Actually, I would love to have him as a close friend, I just don't know how to go about it.
Do I make the first move and suggest lunch?
Help me out here guys!!!!!!
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3 comments:
again, i recommend 'no way'
dating and socializing are the ultimate taboo for shrinks in the usa - you may first want to check with your professional society if there are any simliar laws.
nothing like a burned friend nee patient turning you in to the boards...
i sound paranoid but it can happen.
I think you suspicions about his newly found "ease" with you are close to the truth. He has found you to be kind and non-judgmental about his lifestyle. All of us are relieved to find that.
I would caution you about making a first step in suggesting "lunch". Perhaps there is a bit of male chauvinism in my thoughts, but I'd rather think that I am coming at the situation from a similar position as Ur-Spo: the tenuous relation between professional and client.
Continue to respond to his friendliness, perhaps he will suggest "lunch" for you and for his partner - all together.
I sense that there might be an ache in your heart, Maggie, not unlike my own. I think we both need to have the patience to let it happen as it will and not to force the issue.
Hi Spo, I have never in all my career dated a patient or in my life, a boss. For the very reasons that you have stated.I have seen it happen before to other people, always with negative results.
But I was only thinking about him as being a friend nothing else. I'm 99.9% sure he is gay.
Hi Lemuel, I think so too. And I think he sees me as potential friend.
Okay no lunch, that was just an off the cuff thought. But I did mean to invite his *friend* also.
I don't have an ache in my heart Lemuel, I'm just looking for a friend that I don't have to worry about coming on to me. And he seems to be someone that I could have that with.
The only problem with opposite sex professional/client relationships, is when it involves sex. This is not an issue here. The same as if a female patient wanted to be my friend, non issue.
Thanks for all your input.
Bottom line....I will not make the first move towards friendship and like Lemuel says, let things just happen.
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