I have had both, cats and now a dog, Rosey. The following exerpts are supposed to be humorous but I find them very accurate.
Being the pet lovers that you are I thought you would enjoy this.
* Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
* Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They
dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or
some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations
perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I
had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending
comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed
in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due
to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The
dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously mentally disabled. The bird has got to
be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am
certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
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5 comments:
That is such a hoot! and seems so probable. That is definitiely a keeper.
I never looked at cats quite that way. I was thinking last night I could probably write a pretty interesting book on the lives of cats.
The tormentors assaination reminded me of how they like to lay in the pitch dark late at night at the top of the stairs and just dare you to navigate to the kitchen for a glass of water. I have come near death sevral times from this.
hohoho
such is a dog's life!
Too funny! :)
First of all I want to apologize for the format. It was normal when I posted it but somehow it took on a world of it's own and it wouldn't cooperate when I tried to correct it. :(
Hi Lemuel, I know!! I love it. :)
Hi BG, Buyer Beware. :) It reminds me of Stewie on Family Guy.
Hi Spo, I agree and now that I own one, I love the adoration as opposed to the indifference.
Hi TY, I'm glad you liked it. :)
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